I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
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