just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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