I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
