I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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