I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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