listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
