It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize