Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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