dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
