Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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