Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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