maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
