I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Welp...herpes.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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