Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
