I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Acid is not a monday night drug
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
