Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
