how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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