Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
