You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
how can u be prego again
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
