We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize