She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
