Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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