There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
