Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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