im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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