I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
