i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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