I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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