That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
