You smell like a Billy Joel song
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
