D3 body, D1 cock
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
