I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
