More tranny stories later!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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