Duck Duck Cougar?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Two words: blizzard sex
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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