just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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