WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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