Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
