the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
