She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
