If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think a kid would responsible me up
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
