they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize