Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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