Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
