ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
