Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
