hotel room ftw
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
