so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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