just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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