his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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