On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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