3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
