Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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