On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
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Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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