I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
