I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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