he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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