we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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