I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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