so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
