Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
