she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
