Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
