I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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