did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
