im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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