If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
