did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
