Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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