You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
